Dear Tatutoro Honzashi, Kage of the Kudo Ninja Clan

My family and I are are having a great deal of trouble choosing a breed of dog that will fit in with our lifestyle. I am a bearded surveyor who enjoys boardgames and self-depriciation; whereas my wife's receational pastimes include beating her servants and being very fickle. We have a four year daughter who cites 'cutting and sticking' as her main interests.

Can you help us?